Mares Dig Giant Robots - silly one-shot

"Hey Applejack, heard you had some junk in the farm. How much to take it off your hands?"
>"Take a look."
>You open the barn doors and walk in, staring at the massive pile of...who knows what.
"Huh... let's see... what about this?"
>You pull out a small, rusty wheelbarrow-like tool.
>"Hm... two bits."
>Shrugging, you toss it back into the pile.
"What about this?"
>You pull out a rake, a few teeth in the head missing from it.
>"Two bits."
>You toss it back, pulling out another... thing.
"How about this one?"
>"Two. Bits," Applejack enunciates, tilting her hat up. "Everything in the barn is two bits. Betcha there's nothin' in there worth more than that anyway..."
>Sighing, you toss it back, causing the pile to rumble a bit.
"OH SHIT RUN!"
>You and Applejack dive out of the barn, covering your heads as the pile collapses into an even wider-covering heap.
>Peeking back over your shoulder, your eyes widen when you see the sight before you.
>There, on the top of the pile... some kind of giant robot suit?
>Your mouth curves into a grin, and you turn to Applejack, whose mouth is completely agape at the sight.
"So... two bits, huh? Sweeeeet..."
>"Ah horse-apples..."


>”Oh my gosh… do you realize what we could do with this thing?” Pinkie beams up at you. “We could totally, like, go to a cupcake factory and take ALL THE CUPCAKES!” she laughs, poking the newly-refurbished robot.
>You took it up to your house after paying Applejack the two coins, and immediately got to work fixing it up. Now… it’s a true work of art. New paint-job, new sound system, no rust…
>…Oh man, the rust was the worst part of it; everything else was intact, for the most part. The inside worked like those video games that you spent the better part of your younger and teen years mastering like a pro, before getting dropped in magical horse land.
“Hey. I’m not using this for silly things like that, Pinkie.”
>You grin down at her.
“I’m gonna cruise around in it, do some joyriding, maybe punch a building or two, pick up some mares…”
>You stare up at the robot, envisioning yourself covered in mares, their tiny furry bodies rubbing all over you…
“Yeah… this is gonna be sweet.”
>Pinkie tilts her head at you. “Okay… but can we get food first?! I’m starving!” she gasps, sitting on her haunches poking her belly with her hoof. It groans loudly, and makes weird wave motions down her body…
>She’s giving you the look. The one with the big, blue eyes. The one that every cliché cartoon character you remember having that ability has…
“…Fine. But by tonight I’m going to be covered in mares.”
>”I believe in you, Anon!” Pinkie exclaims as the two of you begin climbing up to the cockpit [spoiler]hue[/spoiler] of the robot, jumping inside.
“Bitches dig giant robots.”
>”What are bitches, Anon?”
“…Nevermind. Mares dig giant robots.”
>Slipping on a pair of sunglasses, you twist the key and begin your grand quest to get covered in mares by the end of the day.