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- Mr. Friendly in Equestria. 200th Thread Special.
- By Wuten and Chronicler.
- Dear god help me.
- >You are Anon.
- >And you are fucking bored as hell.
- “Hey Pinkie Pie, what exactly did you call me here for, anyway?”
- >Pinkie grins happily, hopping next to you. “We’re gonna meet my super-special-awesome friend! He’s really friendly, I’m sure you’ll like him.”
- >She came to you early in the morning, like 4-fucking AM, and wanted you to follow her for something.
- >You got no sleep that night. And you’ve walked at least 8 miles without a break.
- >You’re proud of your physical capabilities, but you’re fucking mad at the lack of sleep that night.
- >”Why are we so far outside of Ponyville?” you ask, rubbing your eye as you walk next to the pink pony.
- >Your legs are screaming at you for what you’re putting them through.
- >You’ve come to a small shed, out in the middle of nowhere in a field.
- >”Here we are, Anon!” Pinkie exclaims, grinning up at you before bouncing off towards the shed.
- >Wait…
- >…This is too weird.
- “Pinkie, wait, I-“
- >Too late, she’s already entered the shed.
- >Fucking pink horse.
- >You run up to the door, and slowly open it, walking inside.
- >The door closes behind you without you closing it yourself. That’s weird.
- >Wait…
- >You look around the room.
- >…Wasn’t the shed smaller on the outside?
- >Inside, you see Pinkie hopping over to a strange pony in the middle of the room.
- >”Heya! I’m back!” Pinkie exclaims, smiling at the pony. He turns and smiles at her, nodding silently.
- >”And even better, I brought another friend! His name is Anonymous, but you can just call him Anon!” she giggles happily, pointing a hoof at you.
- >You walk up to the pony, and he looks up at you.
- >You swear his eye twitched a bit after staring at you for around 4 seconds.
- >”…You need me.”
- >Wait… what?
- “Huh?”
- >”You need me…” he mutters, before his body shudders and twists, writhing on the ground as it slowly morphs into some kind of abomination.
- >Oh god what the fuck is that?
- >…Six heads slowly sprouted out from his neck, and morphed into human heads.
- >”You need me…”
- >Holy shit. Run.
- >Run Anon.
- >Run!
- >This shit is fucked beyond fucking fuck.
- >You dive the fuck away as that pink floppy thing begins to waddle towards you, an obtrusive drone drowning out all coherent thoughts you might formulate.
- >You reel away as the long, pink mass with so many heads begins to flop towards you like a sausage with tiny legs.
- >You trip over your feet, desperately scrambling, before turning your horrified gaze away.
- >Your feet cannot move fast enough as you slam into the door.
- >Six mouths chorus, “You need me… You need me…”
- >You grab the handle, rattling it, trying to open it.
- >Blast it all, why is this damn thing locked?!
- >You toss your shoulder into the wooden planks, dust and nails rattling as you quickly try to force your way out.
- “… You need me…”
- >You look over your shoulder, your eyes pinpricks.
- >Piss is probably trickling down your leg, but it might be spaghetti sauce.
- >Can’t rule anything out.
- >“YOU NEED ME!”
- “FUCK!”
- >You turn back to the door and put your shoulder into the door.
- >You pull back for another blow, and nearly void your bowls when you feel a slippery something on your shoulder.
- >”This way, Gordon!”
- >With a scream befitting a child, you toss every fiber of your power into this final, do or die slam.
- >With a crack, you blast open the door, landing in a crumpled pile upon the top of the ruined door.
- >You scramble to your feet and take off like Ranbowdash being swarmed by Bull Dykes, the wet flopping behind you going far faster than you thought this thing could go.
- >Your legs burn with the fury of a thousand suns, but adrenaline and terror drive you on.
- >Mostly Adrenaline.
- >Hell of a drug…
- >The sound finally fades, and you fall down, too tired to take another step.
- >After a few ragged breaths, you hear wing beats to your left.
- >You look up at a gray Pegasus as Derpy slowly floats over to you, mailbag on her flank.
- >”Heller there Anon!”
- “Derpy! I need your help! There’s some... Monster, following me! Please, I need your help to get me back to Ponyville.”
- >She lands, and looks at you sideways for almost four seconds, before her eyes begin to focus on you.
- >”So, you’re saying… You need… Me?”
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