Fucking Bonbon (They actually do it version_ 2.1 I think)

>Quickly jogging downstairs you throw open your front door and step out onto your front porch
>It looked like it was another perfect day out
>There wasn't a cloud in the sky
>Birds were chirping
>Ponies were walking around just chatting and enjoying their little horse lives
>...Yep
>Blackout thursday would have been a grand old time on a day like this...
>"Anon! ANON! Whoohoo! Over here!"
>Turning your head to the left you look over to see your other neighbor, Carrot Top, leaning on your fence with a great big smile
>Like always the little horse was covered in dirt and had a big straw hat on her head
>But unlike most of the times the two of you talked she looked excited
>Like REALLY excited
>Which was why her smile was making you nervous
>REALLY nervous
"Morning Carrot," you greet with a yawn
>Carrot Top giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof as she leaned against your fence just a little bit more
>"It's almost two o'clock, Anon!" she said, her smile not leaving her face. "Morning was over HOURS ago... though I'm sure you wouldn't know that after the morning you had..."
>Frowning, you step off your porch and make your way over to the little horse, who giggled quietly as you stood over her
"...And what do you mean by that Carrot Top?"
>Carrot Top's nostrils flared as she looked up at you, her smile only widening
>"Wellllll, Anon, I was out and about early this morning weeding my carrot garden when I just so happened to hear some... noises coming from your abode," Carrot said with an eyebrow wiggle
>...Oh
>Oh...
>Oh fuck...
>Though you manage to keep a straight face a sinking feeling started to form in your gut
>Though she didn't look it Carrot Top here was one of Ponyville's biggest gossips
>AND she was the biggest fucking neb-noser that you've ever met

>So if she heard the noises that you and your... marefriends were making (which she probably did because you, Lyra, and Bonnie hadn't exactly been quiet when you had your fun) she was probably able to guess what had happened
>And if she knew what had happened and if it was two o'clock like she said then that meant that there was a good chance that half of the fucking town knew as well
>...
>...
>...
>Great
>Awesome
>The second that you dive into horsefucking everyone and their mother knows about it...
>Sweet
>You couldn't be FUCKING happier
>"So who's the lucky mare?" Carrot asked, bringing you out of your thoughts
>Carrot sniffed the air again, her eyes widening
>"Ohhh! Mares is it? Well who-- nono! Don't tell me! Is it Twilight and Derpy? Or maybe it's Roseluck and Silver Lace! Or--"
>You just look down at the little horse, who's about to break your FUCKING fence with how she's leaning on it, your eye twitching
>Though you have a VERY strong desire to go and get your broom so that you could give this little gossip what-for you stop yourself
>No
>That's what she wants you to do...
"...I don't know what you're talking about."
>Carrot Top stops talking about... whatever the fuck she was blabbering on about to look up at you with a smirk
>"Oh don't you give me THAT, Anon!" the little earth pony said, reaching over your fence to playfully bat you on the leg with a hoof. "I can smell the mare's on you and--"
>Alright...
>Time to leave...
>You're going to fuck off now
>Now's the time for you to fuck right off
"I'm sorry that I have to cut our little chat short but I gotta go Carrot. You have yourself a nice day."
>Not giving the mare a chance to answer you about-face, making your way through your yard and toward SugarCube Corner
>Alright, if you did this quick then maybe no one will even say anything to--

>"Oh don't be like that Anon!" Carrot chirps, suddenly appearing at your side. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about! In fact I'm ecstatic that you finally stopped being such a grump and found a pair of mares!"
"...Get out of my yard, Carrot Top."
>The little mare snorted, once again batting your leg
>Your eye twitches and you have the sudden and violent urge to punt a little horse but you managed to beat the urge down
>No...
>The ponice would have your ass in jail by suppertime...
>"Oh, I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered before, Anon! The mares that you managed to snag MUST be some lookers eh?"
>As Carrot Top yammers on you stomp toward SugarCube Corner with a frown
>To your left and to your right you see ponies all bunched up into groups "talking" to each other
>Though they're trying to be stealthy you could see them looking and pointing at you
>...Well shit
>It looked like it was going to be one of those days wasn't it?
>"--You know, if you're looking for another mare to add to your collection, you stallion you, I know this wonderful mare down the street--"
>And Carrot Top wasn't helping with the stares either, loudly talking like she was
>You could hear a stallion calling your name but you keep walking, not even turning your head
>A mare waves at you but you don't even look her way
>Just ignore it...
>Just ignore it...
>If you ignore all of this bullshit then it'll go aw--
>"Anon! ANON! I need to talk to you!"
>You couldn't help but groan
>What the fuck was it now?!
>Looking to your right you see Twiggy Piggy trotting toward you with her muzzle scrunched up and her eyebrows furrowed
>Book horse was mad
>...Of course she fuckin was
>Probably had a book up her ass or some other such thing...
>...Fucking shit...
"Was there something that you needed, Twi?" you asked tiredly
>Purple drank nodded, her little chest puffing out as she looked up at you

>"You have some explaining to do mister! You were supposed to come down to the mayor's office to get some paperwork finished that I've been telling you for MONTHS to--"
>Twilight stopped her bitching as her nostrils flared, her eyes widening
>"Is that... Oh."
>She gasped, smiling suddenly
>"Ohhh! Congratulations Anon! Who's the lucky mares?"
"...Get the fuck out of my face Dorkle... I'm REALLY not in the mood..."
>Carrot snorted
>"Don't let Mr. Grumpy here fool you, Princess! He's been talking my ear off about how he's found the mares of his dreams."
>No you fucking...
>URGH!
>Walking around the purple pain in your ass you continue to make your way to SugarCube Corner
>You were going to get your COFFEE for fuck's sake
>And no noisy ponies were going to stop that
>To your horror Twilight trots after you, walking side-by-side with Carrot
>"I can't believe that I get to record pony and human relations now!" Twiggles said excitedly
>There was a pop, and in an instant Twilight had paper and quill floating near her head
>"So how did these mares manage to court you Anon? OHHHHH! Or did YOU court THEM?! Were there any particular pheromones that you secreted to show them your interest?"
>Out of the corner of your eye you see ponies walking toward you, trying to listen in on what Twilight and Carrot Top were saying
>Since you knew that it was only a matter of time before that listening became questions your walk turned into a slow jog
>That slow jog turned into a steady jog as the little horses matched your pace
>Suddenly Rarity appeared right in your path, looking at you with a big smile, excitement in her eyes
>"Anonymous, darling! I just so happened to hear that somepony--oh my!"
>You hop over the squiggle tail and just take the fuck off
>You were done
>You were the donest
>You were donion rings
>Almost immediately you could heard the thunderous sounds of a group of horses running at full tilt

>"Anon! Wait!" Twilight yelled. "Could you at the very least tell me the mares names so that I can question them?"
>"Yeah Anon!" Carrot cried. "Why don't you tell us the names of these lucky mares!"
>"Yeah!"
>"Come on, monkey!"
>"What they said!"
>In that moment, as you ran down the street with about fifty little horses screaming at you, you realized that you dad was right
>You HAD grown up to be a fucking weirdo
>A fucking weirdo that would probably mess around with some barnyard animals and get fucked over because of it
>...
>...
>...
>Wonder how that old cunt's doing...
>Since you had longer legs, and you weren't afraid to push over carts or throw unsuspecting bystanders at your pursuers you managed to keep ahead of the pack right as you turned the corner and saw the promised land
>There, at the other end of the street, was SugarCube Corner, all shining and glistening in the sunlight
>If you could run the hundred yards without any of the little horses catching you you'd be in the clear
>Momma Cupcake didn't allow no BULLSHIT in her establishment
>"Anon! You get back here right now so I can ask you some questions!... And maybe take a few samples! FOR SCIENCE!"
"Fuck you and your gay nigger science, Farkle!"
>"Wha-- SCIENCE IS NOT "GAY", ANONYMOUS! NOW STOP RUNNING BEFORE I'M FORCED TO--"
>As luck would have it a little horse, whistling a little horse tune to himself as he minded his own business, walked in front of you
>You'd seen the stallion around town before
>Time Turner you think his name was
>A nice guy whenever you've--forthegoodofthekingdom!
>Time Turner sees you racing toward him too late, the stallion's eyes widening as you picked him up by the scruff of the neck and tossed him over your shoulder
>You heard a surprised yelp, which was followed by Twiggy cursing and the sounds of two bodies slamming against each other
>"OH HORSE APPLES!"
>Bullseye!
>Take that Snarkle!
>You purple pain in the ass!

>Grinning now you run full tilt toward SugarCube Corner, your eyes focused on that little wooden door
>Come on...
>Almost there...
>Almost...
>From behind you you could heard some of the little horses cry out
>"HE'S GOING FOR SUGARCUBE CORNER!"
>"WE GOTTA GET HIM BEFORE HE GETS IN THERE!"
>SOMEPONY GRAB THAT MONKEY!"
>You being to serpentine as mare and stallion, unicorn and earth pony and pegasus, young and old, started lunging at you
>One manages to get a hold of one of your legs and another tackles your mid section
>NO!!!!
>NOT NOW!!!
>YOU COULDN'T FAIL NOW WHEN YOU WERE THIS CLOSE!!!
>Gritting your teeth you carry the two horses up the steps of SugarCube Corner
>Your hand grabs the doorknob
>You turn said knob
>And....
"HAH!"
>Crying out in triumph, you throw open the door and step inside
>Almost immediately the ponies holding onto you let go
>They knew their nonsense wouldn't be tolerated here
>"Anon! Honey! I was wondering when you'd come back in here and say hello to this old mare!"
>Though you were panting and sweaty you couldn't help but grin at Mrs. Cake as she stood behind the counter
>HAH!
>Anon- 1
>Ponies- 0
>Walking over to the pudgy earth pony with a pip in your step you place your hands on the counter and smile down at her
"I don't know about this old mare you're talking about, all I see is a young, pretty little thing in front of me.... What? Did you get some new help or something?"
>Like she always did when you said this, Mrs. Cake giggled
>"Oh stop! You're going to make me blush," she said, nudging you with a hoof. "Now, what can I do you for?"
>You open your mouth to answer when you heard the front door's bell jungle
>Looking over your shoulder you see Twiggles and her little group, all of whom look a bit put out, slowly trickle in
>...Shit

>It looked like you weren't going to get away from them that easily...
>...Fuck it
>You still had coffee to get
"...Yeah, could I get a cappuccino with extra milk and two black coffee's with nothing in them to go please?"
>Mrs. Cake nodded with a motherly smile
>"Sure, hon. Why don't you go and have a seat while I get everything ready for you?"
>Looking back over your shoulder you see that Twiggles and her crew had taken up every seat in the house but one
>That one seat being right next to princess book horse herself, who was looking up at you with the hungriest expression that you've ever seen
"...Actually, I think I'll just stand if that's alright with you..."
>Twilight loudly cleared her throat behind you
>"Don't be silly, Anon! Come and take a seat!"
>You open up your mouth to cuss the little putz out but you managed to rein yourself in
>There was no swearing in Momma Cakes' house
"No thanks. I'm good."
>Using her magic, Twilight pulled out the chair for you
>"I insist."
>You cross your arms, frowning
"So do I."
>As the two of you have yourselves a bit of a stare-off, one of the other little horses rolls their eyes and snorts
>"Will you just tell us who you bucked so we can get back to our days?"
"What? You want to know that I gave you mother the time of her life, Thunderlane?" you asked, not breaking eye contact with Twerkle. "I didn't know that you were into that sort of thing but alright."
>From across the room you could hear Snorkle growl
>"If you're not going to tell us then we can just figure it out ourselves!"
>Craining her neck the little princess looked around
>"A good bit of the town's here, if we just--"
>Alright
>ALRIGHT!
>YOU HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!!!
>Scowling, you stomp over and grab the broom that the Cakes had leaning on the wall
"Who I want to fu-- have relations with is none of you nosy little horses business! I don't go demanding you tell ME what you do behind closed doors!"

>"Just tell us who you bucked so we tally up the bets!" Someone called
>You stiffen in place
>Did they...
>Were they...
>...
>...
>...
>Did these little horses place bets on who you were going to FUCK?!
>...Alright
>NOW you were going to kill someone...
>Hefting your broom you take a step toward the ponies, ready to purge the unclean, when you hear someone loudly clearing their throat behind you
>"Now Anon dear, what did I say about threatening customers with my broom?"
>You flinch, looking over your shoulder to see Mrs. Cake with a cardboard carrier for your coffees in her hoof, the mare's eyebrow raised
>You look at the broom then at the crowd before sighing, your shoulders slumping in defeat
"...Sorry, Mrs. Cake..."
>Mrs. Cake smiles as you put the broom back, the earth pony walking around the counter and trotting toward you with your coffees
>"Oh don't worry about it dear," she said, giving you your coffees with a smile. "I know how you get in the mornings without your coffee."
>Based Mrs. Cake...
>"Though I bet you're in a much better mood now that you have two beautiful fillies to come home to!"
>...Oh no
>Oh no
>Nononono...
>You try to step away from Mrs. Cake but the mare's too fast, grabbing your free hand with her mouth and gently, but firmly, guiding you toward one of the tables
>The other little horses, seeing that you were trapped with no way out, smiled, a stallion and a mare giving up their seats so that Mrs. Cake could sit you down
>As your captor sat down you looked around the room
>All you saw were smiling faces
>They finally got you and they knew it
>...FUCK

>"Now Anonymous, sweetie, why don't you tell me about the lucky mares?" Mrs. Cakes asked, batting her eyelashes as she leaned toward you
>No
>Nope
>Nada
>You weren't going to do it
>You weren't going to do it
>You...

~Later~

>You walk back to your house dragging your feet
>Mrs. Cake squeezed the fucking info out of you like a tub of fucking toothpaste
>You ratted yourself out like a bitch
>You were officially the King of the Bitches
>And you weren't a happy camper about it
>...But whatever
>You got the fucking coffee so at least that was something...
>...God fucking damnit...
"I can't believe those fuckers were exchanging bits right in front of me," you grumble to yourself, opening the gate to your fence and walking up to your porch
>Still grumbling, you open your door and--
>"Is that you monkey?"
>Your stomach growls as the smell of breakfast foods wafts through the air
>In all of this excitement and faggotry you had apparently worked up quite the appetite
"Yeah, it's me!" you call, kicking off your shoes
>From the kitchen you could heard Bonbon's irritated snort
>"Took you long enough! Now get in here before me and Lyra start eating without you!"
>The thought to tell your... marefriends about what happened occurred to you but you ignored it
>Telling Lyra and Bonnie that the entire town knew that the three of you were fucking could wait for a little bit
>Right now daddy needed to get something in his stomach
>As you get closer to your kitchen you hear the tell-tale sounds of someone getting their cook on, but as you walked through the doorway you were not ready for what you saw

>There, fussing over pots and pans and wearing an adorable little pink frilly apron, was Bonbon
>...
>...
>...
>...Aw...
>The irritation and embarrassment that had been stewing inside you the whole walk back vanished as you just stood there and watched the adorable, ADORABLE little mare work
>Though you had never expected Bonbon to be much of a chef the mare seemed like a natural in the kitchen, moving from pot to pan, flipping and stirring and toasting with the greatest of ease
>"Nonny!"
>Looking away from Bonbon you see Lyra sitting at your kitchen table
>A table, which by the looks of it, had been already been set
>"Come on and sit down," Lyra said excitedly, patting the seat next to you. "Bonnie's almost done cooking."
>"You better have my coffee you weirdo," BonBon adds, not looking over her shoulder
>You say nothing as you walk over and sit down next to Lyra, placing the coffees right in front of her
>The unicorn makes a happy noise, grabbing her coffee while you set BonBon's coffee down right beside you
>"Thanks, Fingers! This is really going to go great with all that Bonnie's whipping up!"
"...You're welcome."
>Before anyone could say anymore Bonbon started coming with plates filled with food
>Pancakes, eggs, french toast, oatmeal, cereal, even sausage and bacon were set out in front of you, each plate stacked to the brim
>Never in your life had you seen this much breakfast food served at once, and it all looked so GOOD...
>Pulling off her apron and tossing it over her chair, Bonbon sat down on your other side and looked over the bounty before you
>"I didn't know what the hay to make you so I decided to make a little of everything," she grumbled
>You find yourself slowly nodding
"It looks like it..."
>It didn't take a genius to figure out that there was too much food in front of you
>And the shitty thing about that was you weren't even sure that all of this stuff would make good leftovers

>The bacon sure, the pancakes maybe, but the oatmeal? The french toast?
>You had a feeling that that stuff would go bad REAL quick
>...Bonbon had probably emptied your fridge making all of this stuff...
>Which meant that you were probably going to have to go out and get more groceries...
>...
>...
>...
>No one's ever made you breakfast before...
>Well that's not TOTALLY true
>You've had people make you come eggs or toast or something like that
>But never anything like... this
>The scrapping of silverware against a plate makes you look up
>You see that Bonbon's scooping some eggs onto your plate
>"Stop looking at the food with a dumb look on your face and eat it you butt," she demanded, helping herself to some eggs after piling your plate high with them
>You look to your right to see that Lyra's already nomming some french toast
>"Yeah! Come on and eat up, Nonny! The food's great!"
>Looking at both of your marefriends one more time you do as they said
>You eat
>The next hour is spent in silence as you, Bonbon, and Lyra do your best to devour the feast in front of you
>You must have eaten a pound of eggs
>You ate enough bacon and sausage to kill an elephant
>You ate pancakes and french toast until you couldn't eat anymore
>And you drank so much maple syrup that you swore that shit was going to replace your blood
>Though the three of you had tried your hardest to defeat the monster that was this brunch you had barely put a dent in it
>Though it wasn't for lack of trying
>You felt stuffed
>More stuffed than you had felt in a long, long time
>Not so stuffed that you were about to get sick but an afternoon nap was sounding pretty good right now
>Groaning, you lean back against your chair and pop the button off on your pants
"...Jesus Christ was that great."
>Lyra giggled, dabbing her mouth with a napkin
>"Yeah, Bonnie here's a grade-A cook!" she said, smiling at her marefriend, who was glaring at you
>"Did you have to go and stuff yourself like that you pig?"

>You close your eyes
"It was either I stuff myself or half of this stuff was going to go to waste."
>You rub your belly, which grumbled in protest at having this much food dumped in it
>Shush, shush
>No tears
>Only dreams now stomach...
>Though you couldn't see it Bonbon started to fiddle with her hooves nervously, the candy mare looking down at her empty plate
>"...So did you like the food?" she asked quietly
>You crack open an eye to look at the little horse
"The food was great, Bonnie,' you tell her. "Best breakfast I've have in a long, long time."
>It looked like BonBon was about to smile but she just snorted
>"G-Good, and since you like it so much you can clean all of this up."
>Hopping out of her chair, the mare stiffly trotted toward your living room
>"I'm going to go and lay down."
>...You know what?
>That's fine
>It's only fair since she cooked all of this...
>Both you and Lyra watch her go, Lyra giggling the second that she's gone from your sight
>"Don't worry, Nonny, I'll help you clean up."
>You smile at the little horse, slowly getting to your feet with a grunt
"Alright, let's get cleaned up then huh?"
>You and Lyra spend the next half an hour putting the leftovers away and doing the dishes, just chatting and joking with each other
>...Like a couple would
>As your finished up drying the dishes (since Lyra was in charge of washing and rinsing) your stomach settled
>Just a little bit
>But it was still a hell of a lot better than you felt a couple of minutes ago
>"There! All done!" Lyra chirped as you finished drying off the last fork
>You nod
"Yep, all done. Now it's time that we just lay down and let this food digest
>Lyra giggled, nudging your leg with her rump
>"You didn't need to eat all of that, Nonny, even though it was really sweet and I'm sure it meant a lot to Bonnie."

"...I don't know what you're talking about."
>Lyra rubbed herself against you again
>"Sure you don't, Fingers."
>Giggling to herself, Lyra lead you into your living room
>Bonbon was sitting on your couch "human style" leafing through one of your Playmare's
>"You know it's really weird that you have these right?" she asked, not looking up from the magazine
>Walking over to your couch you sit down heavily next to the candy mare, leaning back and just closing your eyes
"I read it for the articles."
>"Read it because their's dicks in it you mean."
>You wrap your arms around Bonbon's shoulder and pull her against you
"Better than being a cunt-licker like yourself," you say, leaning down and kissing her cheek
>Though Bonbon snorted she leaned back against you as Lyra hopped up beside you and snuggled against your other side
>"Hey! What about me, Nonny?" she playfully demanded, leaning up and rubbing her cheek against yours
>You wrap your arms around your other mare, giving her a peck on the lips
>The three of you closed your eyes and just laid there, soaking up each others company and warmth
>It was... nice
>"So did anypony say anything to you when you were in town?" Bonnie asked, nosing your side
>Though the food and the warmth was starting to make you sleepy you cracked open an eye suspiciously
"...And what do you mean by that?"
>Bonbon smiled
>"I think you know what I mean."
>Your mind races
"Wait... so you knew tha--"
>"That everypony would flip out when they smelled me and Lyra on you?"
>Both eyes opening you look over at Lyra, who was refusing to meet your gaze (and the little scamp was fucking BLUSHING too), then back at Bonbon
"Smelled you on... what the fuck are you talking about?!"
>Sighing happily, Bonnie grabbed your hand and guided it toward her furry chest
>"What did you think me rolling around in your clothes was for, dummy?"
>...
>...
>...
>Fucking Bonbon...