(FR) Shitpost

>You stand upon the precipice of destruction and creation.
>For it is the job of man not to forsake that of the creator, but rather to make due with the tools one has in order to further a greater good.
>To continue on in the face of adversity.
>But some things... are too much.
>Even for you.
>Anon.
>It's a normal, average day in Equestria. And you've started it just like any other, with the sacred Triple-S ritual.
>Except, something has gone horribly wrong.
>You recline upon your porcelain throne, to which you've provided your backward... and forward offerings for months on end.
>And you take a mean, state-fair fried butter diarrhea shit.
>As a drop of sweat runs down your brow, you reach over to the toilet paper.
>Yet, only brown cardboard reaches your grasp.
"Ouch," you say, as you frequently do when something mildly surprises you. What the fuck is wrong with you?
>Well, whatever.
>Ponies gotta pone, Anon's gotta wipe his ass, or whatever the phrase is.
>You stand up, and waddle with your boxers around your legs, shit dripping down your leg, to the cabinet underneath your seat, for another roll.
>Quickly opening the door to try and repair what little self-worth you have in this moment, you find not the sweet tissue of anal relief, but rather a yellow rapist.
>"H-hi Anon. I-is wiping with your hand your fetish?"
>You stare down at her in equal parts disgust and hatred.
>She stares up at your junk with a trail of drool running down her lips.
>You should probably be surprised, but let's face it. Nothing surprises you about this pony anymore.
>This mare is both the worst, and stupidest pony in Ponyville.
>And only she could be fucking turned on by the idea of you wiping your shitty ass with your own hand.
>You probably should kick her out.
>Wait.
>No.
>THIS IS YOUR HOUSE.
>THIS IS YOUR THREAD.
>YOU WILL CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN AND DECLARE YOURSELF AS ALPHA.
>You wipe your hand with your diarrhea shit and smear it across Fluttershy's forehead.
"SIMMMBA."
>A moment of silence fills the room as you expect for Fluttershy to gasp. To flee in horror and shame. To shriek and cry to someone who can't remove the painful memory from her brain that she was consecrated in your spicy anal juices.
>Except, she smiles.
>"This is kinda hot."
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
>Sensing impending danger, Fluttershy releases her signature squeak and bursts out of your house.
>Stupid fucking horse.
>You close and lock the bathroom door behind you.
>Whatever man.
>You were gonna shower anyway.
>You can wash the shit off your hand there.
>But now, you're probably in for a fuck ton of more shitty fetish guesses, thanks to Fucking Fluttershy.