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- lyler prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/245069/11/the-lyler-archive/baked-goods-and-pure-madness
- ----
- >A loud shot rings out from outside your house.
- >Wake up
- "Good Opal. Goood."
- >Today was the fifth day in the war on rape.
- >You are Anon.
- >King of Anonia.
- >After performing your royal morning ritual, you dawn your war gear and move to the royal front lawn.
- >Opal hides behind cover, volleying shots with the enemy.
- >Those yellow bellied bastards have no idea what is in store for them today.
- >They think they have you surrounded, but today is the day the war turns in your favor.
- "Are you ready for this Opal?"
- >"Meeeooow!"
- >You don't understand cat, but you are fairly sure that's yes.
- >You pull a massive red button out of your pocket
- "I've always loved this house..."
- >Smash that button!
- >The house emits a loud siren and begins to shake the earth.
- >The squirrels pause their nut barrage to watch the terrifying scene.
- >The house begins to twist and turn, and become smaller.
- >Wheels begin to appear on the sides of the house, and the gutters form tracks for the wheels.
- >A large barrel protrudes from the outside of the house, as your house begins to become the ultimate weapon of mass distruction.
- "Cause it's built like a fucking tank."
- >Opal stares at you.
- "What?"
- >The two of you climb into the massive weapon and into the cockpit.
- "Alright ya bunch of mangey animals, time to show you who's the boss."
- >Nuts fly at the machine in full force.
- >Bears sprint towards you for a head on attack.
- >You aim for the center of the group.
- "Opal! Load the cannon!"
- >She drops a load into the large barrel. "MEOOW."
- "FIRE!"
- >A large explosive round aims in-between 5 bears, and send them flying.
- >Many of them begin to retreat at the sight of the monster's destruction.
- "FORWARD MARCH!"
- >The tank moves forward towards the enemy base.
- >The yellow cottage.
- >If you were to win, you had to finish this today.
- >The enemy leader of Rapadonia was none other than Yellowquiet, and you aim for revenge for what she did at the last diplomatic meeting.
- >You still can't feel your crotch.
- >Aiming for the trees that the squirrels are jumping onto to make their retreat, you begin to restrict their speed as you move towards the enemy base.
- >As the cottage becomes visible in the distance, you prepare for the fight of your life.
- "Opal. Man the turrets and set the cannon on auto-load."
- >"MEOOOOW."
- >The perfect ally. Without her you would have never been able to get this far.
- >Gatling fire from above tells you she finished the job.
- >The rounds were plastic. You would never stoop to the levels of your enemy.
- >Aiming for the front line of bears that aim to protect Fluttershy, a smile forms on your lips.
- "Get rekt."
- >The explosive round soars in the air, and the bears go flying.
- >Opal begins to shoot down the bunnies that are trying to jam the wheels.
- >Silly rabbits.
- >Nothing can stop the rape tank.
- >Storming over the bridge to the cottage, you prepare yourself for the final line of defense.
- >Angel 'Bastard' Bunny.
- >His speed is uncomparable to any animal and his heart is made of pure ice.
- >Angel frequently went into the Everfree forest with no supplies, and came back with a full stomach, several cockatrice heads and the tail of a dragon.
- >They once said he killed a bear in less than three seconds.
- >Bear handed.
- >You keep your eyes peeled as you approach the cottage.
- >He can't be seen.
- >A tap on your left shoulder causes you to reel back.
- >There he sits behind you, with a smile, and a large package of C4.
- >He hops out of the front window.
- "OH FUC-"
- >The tank explodes, sending you flying out of the machine, and on top of Angel, who is trying to open the front door of the cottage.
- >Scrambling to your feet with a broken rib, you grab the bunny by the ears.
- >His long ears. His only weakness.
- >Pulling out your pistol, you now have a hostage.
- "Fluttershy, come out to negotiate your surrender, and the bunny lives." You yell out to the front of the house.
- >Fluttershy approaches the front window of her cottage, slowly clapping her front hooves.
- >"Good job Anon, I have to admit I didn't think you had it in you."
- >You point the pistol at the bunny's head.
- "Don't test me Fluttershy. I'll do it."
- >"Um. I don't think so."
- >You feel a rifle pointed your back.
- "Et tu, Opalescence?"
- >"Meow." Her voice is stern and serious.
- >"Now then... why don't you come into the cottage, and I'll show you a good time..."
- >You growl under your breath.
- >"Maybe we will even let you stay since you don't have a new home. Consider it an... annexation."
- >You drop the bunny and your gun, and slowly walk into the house.
- >Looks like you will be spending the rest of your days getting raped by,
- >Fucking Dictatorshy.
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