(FR) Unexpected

lyler prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/245069/11/the-lyler-archive/baked-goods-and-pure-madness

----
>Day Unexpected in Equestria
>Wake up
>You are Anon
>How boring.
>You jump out your window in just boxers and sprint into town.
>You spot a yellow pegasus on the horizon also sprinting towards you.
"CLOTHESHANGER, BITCH!"
>Holding out your arm, you aim to stop the yellow rapist in her tracks.
>Closing the distance, you prepare yourself for the greatest destruction of your life.
>She ducks, causing you to miss.
>Shit.
>You continue into town, because fuck staying with Yellowquiet.
>Jump through the window of Sugarcube corner, because now you are a ninja.
>You and Ponka lock eyes.
>"Fight!"
>Pinkie begins to throw knives at your location, as you dodge roll to your worthy opponent.
>When Pinkie runs out of knives, the two of you leap in the air towards each other.
>Initiate your battle cry.
"ROCK! PAPER! SISSORS!"
>Stupid ponies. They can only throw rock.
>The two of you throw your choices.
>You proudly display paper.
>Pinkie's hand has contorted into a pair of sissors.
>What.
>Shit.
>Retreat!
>Running out of the bakery, Pinkie shouts after you.
>"Same time tomorrow Anon?"
>It is too cold out here.
>Time to get clothes.
>Smash through the window of Carousel Boutique because fuck doors.
>"Anon! What in Equestria are you doing?"
"MARSHMELLOWS CAN'T TALK!"
>She stares at you inquisitively.
>You throw a t-shirt and jeans into the air.
>Gracefully you jump into the air to clothe yourself in slow time.
>Your slow time powers fail you, as you land on top of your clothes face first.
"Shit."
>Rarity only stares at you.
"Rare, can you help me here?"
>She sighs deeply.
>Using her magic, she suspends the clothing in midair, and you dress yourself using a backflip.
"THANKS BITCH!"
>You sprint towards the door.
>Grabbing the handle, you stop in your tracks.
"Oh, and I'll fix the window tomorrow. Today has been a little bit of an off day for me."
>"I understand Anon, everyone has their days."
>You open the door widely and gently close it.
>Backflip to Twilight's Home in a frenzy.
>Body slam the door open.
>The unexpected noise causes Twilight to lose focus mid-spell as she tries to light millions of tiny candles.
>Must have been close to some 'me-time'.
>Her horn erupts with energy and shoots magic high into the sky and across the land of Equestria, engulfing it into flame.
>Meanwhile, Celestia looks down at her burning kingdom.
"I always knew it would come to this."
>Celestia pours wine into a crystal goblet with her magic.
"Might as well make this quick"
>She downs the wine in a single gulp, and uses all of her might to hurl the sun into her dying kingdom.
>In that moment, the world of ponies was no more.
>Today was an off kind of day.