(AiE) A Hole In Lyler

This is a Lyler Homage to A Hole in One by anonpencil - http://pastebin.com/y3KrfJp5 - http://www.fimfiction.net/story/273279/a-hole-in-one

prose: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/245069/4/the-lyler-archive/a-hole-in-lyler
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>As the sun gently rises over the horizon of Ponyville, it's rays batters your eyes and forces you out of your slumber.
>With a blink, you smile and stretch in your own bed.
>Today, you don't have to do a damn thing.
>Thank. God.
>But, you already know, the first thing you want to do.
>Go back to sleep.
>Except, there's one problem.
>This side of the bed is too warm.
>Turning over, you find yourself nose to nose with a lime-green mare.
>Wat.
>"HI ANERN"
>Your eyes shoot open.
>This was not how your day should have started.
>A part of you wants to believe you are dreaming.
>Except, Lyler lying next to you is not the same as a sexy changeling queen.
"WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE."
>"IT NICE HERE"
>You stare at her.
>She stares back at you with a dumbfounded smile.
"Why are you in my bed?" you ask, this being the most pressing question on your mind, for some reason.
>"I HAVE SECRIT"
>Oh god.
>Oh god.
>What the fuck could this horse be keeping secret?
>If she openly announces that she shits on the ground, what could she hide?
>Well, then again, most ponies shit on the ground.
>It's complicated.
>This is Lyler we are talking about here.
>She's a fucking special case.
"W-what's your secret?" you ask, unsure if you truly want to know the answer.
>Her eyes widen as a smile curls at the edges of her lips.
>The expression doesn't settle your concerns.
>In fact, if your concerns were a pit of snakes, they just added spikes at the bottom, and there's a strange tall man with a gun poking you in the back.
>At least, you hope it's a gun.
>Bleeding out might not be as bad as-
>"i want to make the baby with you, anun," Lyler whispers.
"Wait, Wha-"
>"LETS HAVE BABIES ANERN" she screeches, leaping to her hooves.
"WOOAH! HOLD-"
>Without another word, Lyler swings her hoof into the air and smashes it down on your man-meat.
>A surge of electricity courses through every nerve in your body as your curl into a ball.
>Your face contorts and a whimper leaves your mouth.
>"WE MAKE LEG BABY!"
>Lyler batters at your arms, which are desperately trying to protect your family jewels as you desperately try to roll away from her.
>As you roll off the bed, your nose collides with your wooden floor, and a spray of blood shoots down your lips and neck.
"AUGH! FUCK!" you sputter, pushing blood out of your mouth.
>The green unicorn hops off the bed and stares at you curiously, flicking her tail and twitching her ears.
>"WHY YOU LIE DOWN? U NO HAVE GURL PART!" she bellows.
>Her head turns one way, then another.
>Then Lyler's eyes light up again.
>With a single, hard kick, her hoof lines up with your side, and you roll over out of instinct, trying to protect your new bruise.
>"BETTER! BABY MINE NOW!"
>Lyler's assault on your Rod of Ages continues, each hit seeming to make her more and more distressed.
>Breathing becomes difficult as your try to push her hooves away, but 4 limbs isn't match for two.
>When you try to raise your legs, even more constriction is placed on your sensitive dice bag, shooting more pain through your fragile frame.
>"WHY IT NOT STIFFIE?" she screams.
"Please, stop," you beg.
>She looks at you.
>"OH! DO YOU WANT TO GIVE THE LICKIES?"
>You look at her in horror as she smiles at you dearly, clearly excited by the aspect of 'the lickies'.
>What the F-
>Instantly, you find your mouth filled with pony ass.
>Which, normally would be a great thing.
>Except, this is Lyler we are talking about.
>She violently rubs her butthole on your lips in some attempt to be sexy.
>You expected the putrid, violent stench of molded over vegetables, like when you helped clean Princess Twilight's kitchen after Spike was on vacation for a week.
>In your head, you expected that at any moment a spray of milk chocolate, imported from the toilet bowl, would cleanse your palate of any worldly innocence you had left in your sorry life.
>Except, it didn't happen.
>In fact, was that... perfume?
>You open your eyes, grab her marshmellowy pony flank, and push her flank up to get a good look.
>Surprisingly, she's perfectly bleached her pony-ponut and it seems that it's pretty damn well taken care of.
>Even her mare parts don't seem to smell like a sickening combination of maggots, blood, and last week's baked bads.
>It's like... she took care of herself for today.
"Lyler, did you clean yourself?"
>"NO LYRA GOT THE FIREHOSE."
"Oh."
>Whatever.
>It's not like you get any action around here.
>Fuck it.
>You never thought you'd say this, but let's lick Lyler's butthole.
---
>Flutterpriest sits in his chair, looking at the line he just wrote.
>He grabs his bottle of scotch, sighing to himself.
"Fuck."
---
>You lean in closely to Lyler's tight, flesh star and place your tongue on it.
>It tastes clean, and surprisingly neutral.
>Like skin.
>As you trace the rim of the hole, you find her ass suddenly disappear from your hands.
>It's quickly replaced by Lyler's face, with her tongue blopped out.
>Then, a hoof enters your vision.
>It's too quick for you to have any sort of reaction, as the hoof connects directly with her nose, and the back of your head connects with the wooden floor.
>More blood sprays into the air as a splitting headache takes a hold of any train of thought that you had and runs it off the tracks.
>Into a small country town's Gas Storage facility.
>There were no survivors.
"FUCK!" you scream so hard that it scrapes the back of your throat.
>"IS THIS SEXY?"
"NO!"
>"KISS ME ANERN!"
"WILL YOU STOP FUCKING HITTING ME IF I DO?" you say, just wanting this terrible, terrible experience to stop.
>"ME WANT BABY NOW."
"FUCKING FINE!"
>You push your hand into Lyler's mane and press your lips firmly onto hers.
>Guiding her tongue back into her mouth with yours, you intertwine your tongue with the tip of hers, but don't dare to venture too deep into her mouth.
>She continues the kiss, somehow keeping up with your well-trained kissing skills.
>Well-trained on a human.
>That you totally kissed on Earth.
>You swear.
>It was the best day at grade school ever.
>But, then your best friend forgot to say 'No Homo' and it got really weird.
>Anyway.
>You finally break the kiss, and lean back to examine the blood spattered face of Lyler, who stares down at you in shock.
>Her eyes are wide, and staring directly into yours.
>Lyler's expression softens, and she gently smiles, tears welling in her eyes.
>You can't help but feel some sort of feeling well in your chest.
>And you don't think it's a heart attack.
>At least, you could dream... but you tend to take good care of yourself.
>You smile back.
>Carefully, you reach your hand up and wipe some of the blood off of her face.
>You know, you never really realized how nice her eyes were.
>They had a shade of gold that you've only ever seen in paintings and there was an innocence behind them that you didn't expect to see.
"How was that?" you ask gently.
>Lyler blushes and looks away from you, breaking eye contact.
>Your hand gently pulls her back to lock eyes again.
"Wanna do that again?"
>Lyler nods like a shy little girl and you chuckle in response.
>You bring your face closer to hers and she gently closes her eyes.
>Heh.
>You know.
>When she's like this, you'd never think that she was this repulsive.
>Your lips nearly connect, when you hear an abnormally loud grumble from Lyler's stomach.
>She groans and her eyes clench shut as her body tightens in pain.
>Her stance over you weakens as you watch her with concern.
"Hey... hey. What's wrong?" you ask.
>The groan comes again, louder than before as she collapses on top of you.
>You sit up and look over her carefully.
"Lyler? Are you okay? What should I do?"
>With one last intense groan, Lyler curls into a ball on your lap as you pet her mane, feeling helpless.
"It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. Tell me what's wrong. Let me help you."
>Then, she stops.
>She sits up happily like a dog, still in your lap and smiles widely, showing her yellowed teeth.
>"BABY TIME."
>Wat.
>Before you can even register what she was going to say, her mouth opens, and a torrent of green, slippery slime pours out of her throat and onto your face and into your mouth.
>Sound fills your ears, although you aren't actually sure it's there.
>http://www.tubechop.com/watch/6714229
>You fall backwards slowly.
>The muck overwhelms you as you can feel it collide into your eyeballs.
>The vomit pierces into you badly bleeding and abused nose, filling your smell with her intestinal juices.
>It runs down your throat as you can taste it's horrid acid on the way down.
>All you can hear is the gurgling rush of fluids that makes your muscles cringe.
>The slime makes your skin crawl and makes the rest of your body feel numb.
>Lyler had, in a few short seconds, raped every one of your five senses.
>Your head collides with the floor one more time as your head turns to the side, still being waterfalled by a projectile stream of juice.
>Then, a massive -thud- connects with the side of your head, aggravating your already bad headache.
>You hear something plop by the side of your head with a sickly squish.
>Then, nothing.
>The puke stops.
>You open your eyes, wondering how in the world you could have this happen to you.
>Where did you go wrong in life?
>Was it all the times you kicked Fluttershy?
>Was it all the times you re-arranged Twilight's library and blamed spike?
>Or did God just hate you?
>You turn your head again, just like you did when you woke up this morning.
>Only, this time you were bleeding, covered in vomit and wanted to die.
>Once again, just like this morning, a pair of golden eyes lock with yours.
>Except.
>This face, was human.
>Your eyes opened wide as you took in the creature.
>The upper half was human, and the lower half seemed to be just like Lyler.
>A Pony.
>You remember the name of these creatures from an old fantasy book you read.
>Satyrs.
>JESUS FUCK YOU CREATED AN ABOMINATION WITH LYLER.
>"DADA!" it screams out loud.
"No."
>"I NAME HER HOOPIE!"
"No no no."
>"HOOPIE!" the little satyr says.
>"NO NO NO NO!"
>Hoopie opens her mouth with a wide smile and then forces a strong stream of green, thick slime at your chest.
>It's much thinner and not as powerful as her mother's but it tells you two things.
>1. She takes after her mother.
>2. Oh my God you created a monster.
>With a gentle thud of your chest, you aren't even surprised as something plops onto your chest and sits there silently, covered in green slime.
>A baby cactus, in a small ceramic pot, rests on your chest.
>"BOOMBOOM JUNIOR!" The mother and daughter call out in unison.
>You rise to your feet, covered in blood, vomit, and what you think are your tears.
>As you stand up, you feel the surging pain of a ravaged ballsack, which causes you to huddle over.
"I'm done," you whimper.
>You turn around, and head towards your bedroom door.
>Step one: Leave this house.
>Step two: Go to Ghastly Gorge.
>Step three: Jump.
>Step four: Atone for your sins.
>"BUT ANERN!" Lyler calls to you as you leave.
>You open the door to your bedroom and look to Lyler and Hoopie.
>Hoopie is giggling intently as she repeatedly slaps her hand on prickly points of the cactus, and Lyler looks at you in pure dismay.
>"HOW WILL I GET CHILD SUPPERT?"
"Nope," you say simply, and walk out.
>The stairs are difficult to descend, but you make your way down.
>As you head towards your front door, you hear a gentle knock at the door.
>You pay it absolutely no mind as you push it out towards the world, catching a certain purple dragon off guard.
>The door swings open, knocking Spike into your prized rose bushes.
>"Oooww!"
>You ignore his yelp as you push west.
>Just keep walking, Anon.
>There's nothing left in this world.
>Just keep walking.
>You continue on into the morning sun, never to be seen in Ponyville again.
>"Okay Anon! You got me! Now can you pull me out of these bushes?" Spike asks.
>...
>"Anon?"
>"Anon. I think I'm stuck, and these thorns are digging into my scales."
>...
>"Anon? Twilight?"
>...
>"Maybe if I just shift a little- OWW ow ow."
>"ANON! THIS REALLY HURTS!"
>...
>"Shoot. It think I'm bleeding."