My Manifesto

DJ/Producer

Seeking passive men who respect themselves and don't want to be degraded. I want to fuck somebody I can respect and I find the idea of 'using someone's hole' nauseating. I believe in mutual pleasure and even casual sex should have compassion and intimacy.

What many gay men need to realize is gay sex is completely different to straight sex. One of you does not need to be the man, and the other the women. We base so much of our culture on blatant misogyny that is embedded in the patriarchy we still find ourselves in. Why can't a bottom be dominant and a top submissive? Why do you have to exploit the person you penetrate? So many men seem to ache to be involved in a rape fantasy and I am not comfortable with that. I think it is wholly unhealthy.

Many gay men say that they are masculine and demand that you be masculine to. The word now means cold, indifferent, robotic and aggressive. I personally find feminine qualities much more attractive - empathy, compassion, sensuality and passion. If you use the term straight acting then I feel sorry for you. To suggest we as gay men have to imitate to heterosexuality to appear masculine is woefully misguided, degrading and offensive.

If you have 'NO BLACKS/ASIANS" or other ethnic minority or have "NO CAMPS/FEMS" then do not waste your time messaging me. The former is inexcusably racist - if you have a preference for a certain race then keep it to yourself as I find it grossly oppressive announcing it to every single person who comes into contact with you. Can you imagine someone walking round a club holding a sign above their head expressing their unattraction to a specific race or type of person? The way to look at it is how many times have you seen "NO MASC" or "NO WHITE GUYS" on someone's profile? Maybe once or twice? How about "NO WHITE MASC GUYS"? It just doesn't happen and that's why it's offensive - it's unbalanced and biased and prejudice.

The saddest thing about gay culture at present is we are enforcing and self policing pernicious ideologies and expectations from one and other that perpetuate shame, self hatred and loneliness. Where has the diversity gone? As each day goes by, more and more people on Grindr - and these kinda sites - are beginning to look more and more like each other. We are trying to heteronormalize ourselves and shaming each other for displaying any feminine traits or individuality.

Well guess what? If it wasn't for such campness and fierce femininity then you would not have the rights you have today. You wouldn't be able to get married. You wouldn't be able to kiss your boyfriend in public.

Do not forget the past - our sisters fought hard for the rights you have and I find it tearfully repugnant that so many gay men seem to have forgotten this.